You are about to embark on a journey to the wondrous world of cake toppers. Please remain seated at all times and keep your arms and legs out of the frosting.
Let me just say upfront that our wedding cake won't be topped off with anything fancy. No bride and groom figurines of any kind. No rhinestone-encrusted monograms. No elaborate gum paste flowers. At most, we'll probably have our florist strategically place a handful of fresh flowers on the cake, but that's it. But even though we're going topless at our reception, I couldn't help taking a peek at all the cake toppers that are available.
There are the traditional bride and groom figurines, of course, but in this day and age of social conscience most web sites offer an "ethnic" option that apparently is intended for all ethnicities besides caucasian. There are also brides and grooms in non traditional poses: the bride dragging the groom by the neck, the groom with one arm wrapped around his lovely bride's waist while the other is holding a ball and chain, or the bride and groom standing back to back with their arms crossed because they couldn't put aside their petty differences long enough to look happy and in love during the one day that they have to stand atop a 3-tiered fondant-covered cake.
I came across a LOT of animal-themed cake toppers including the wiener dogs pictured above. These puppies retail for about $25 each but they're much cuter than some of the other furry friends I saw. But who am I to criticize a western-inspired cake topper featuring a pair of cows on a John Deere tractor? Somewhere out there, that's some lucky couple's PERFECT find...and really, that's all that matters.